They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel. - Carl W. Buechner

I love to get up early, have a cup of hot coffee, (half decaf) feed the cats, read the morning paper, and reflect on life and the day ahead. I like doing this before Angie awakens, the phone starts to ring and e-mails begin popping up requesting my attention.

In the morning paper today I read an article Senator McCain's call for a law to ban torture. He said, “We've sent a message to the world that the US is a nation that upholds values and standards of behavior and treatment of all people no matter how evil and bad they are.” I remembered hearing him the day before on the radio assert that the way to create a safe world requires us to win the hearts and minds of people and to do that, we need to create trust.

It reminded me of the work we all need to do in our own organizations, and of simple example of how trust can transform an individual's work experience.

I ended up at the Hard Rock hotel in Chicago; all the hotels I usually use were booked because of the AONE conference, so I was not expecting great service. I returned to my room during a break in the activities. When I arrived a housekeeper was in the process of cleaning my room. I peeked in and asked if I would be in the way if I worked at the desk while she cleaned? She offered to come back later but I said, “If my being here doesn't interfere with your work, you won't interfere with me checking my email.” So we both went about our jobs.

I started to feel a little awkward and aloof, so I thought I would try to strike up a conversation by asking her name; she answered “Isabelle.” I followed by asking “Do you like working for this hotel?” I figured she'd murmur the typical “it's ok” sort of response. Instead she looked right at me and enthusiastically replied, “I love my job and my boss is the best.” Not the response I expected!

I had to find out why this housekeeper had such enthusiasm for her work; she said, “Because my boss trusts me and respects me. I've worked for other hotels but they don't treat you right and they don't trust you.” Wow! Music to my ears. She went on to share specific examples of how her boss trusted and respected her. She also told me, “I work here for less money than I made at my last job but I'm much happier.” She offered to get her boss and introduce her to me; I said that was great but she didn't need to bother.

I returned to the conference with a bounce in my step -- Isabelle's enthusiasm was infectious. I found it so refreshing to hear a first-person account of the difference leaders make a difference in people's lives. Isabelle confirmed what I've seen as an executive, in our research, and as a consultant: By respecting and trusting we engage people's hearts and minds. Through this simple exchange we can create environments that encourage performance and nourish loyalty and commitment.

In hindsight, I wish I had accepted Isabelle's offer to meet her boss. I'm convinced I would have met a leader who possessed that key quality that distinguishes average leaders from highly effective leaders: emotional intelligence. I'll bet Isabelle's boss is highly aware of the emotional drivers that engage people; that she invests just a little time so people like Isabelle can excel and spread that enthusiasm.

Imagine your hospital, hotel, or business with a workforce of Isabelles. Imagine hundreds of team members with a bounce in their step because they love working for you -- and showing that commitment in the way they do their job and communicate with the public. Refreshing thought? It can happen. It starts with you making small investments in respect and trust.

Take care and give care,

Tom Wojick is Senior Consultant for Six Seconds' Institute for Healthcare Leadership, a nonprofit organization bringing 35 years of emotional intelligence expertise to improve leadership, enhance climate, and reduce turnover.