EQ VitalSigns: Jury Duty, Leadership & Emotions

A few weeks ago I received the dreaded jury summons. For those not in the US, here every citizen is required to appear to serve as a juror when called to local, state, and Federal court. The right to trial by a jury of your peers is a hallmark of our constitutional democracy, and is a principle that I value.

“Leaders enroll people to create a better future.” Marcus Buckingham

So it was with mixed emotions that I faced this summons. On the one hand it's a chance to uphold an important pillar of democracy. On the other, it is an incredible pain because trials can go on for weeks. Jurors are paid the massive sum of $15 per day (less than 1/3 of minimum wage - or about 10% of an average nurse's salary). So while we say we value our legal system, we don't seem to value jurors much.

On the day of my court summons I was quite anxious at the prospect of being stuck in court, and was racking my brain for a suitable excuse. On arrival, though, I was struck by the judge's leadership. The experience was far different than I'd imagined -- both professionally and personally.

Judge Atack is an emotionally intelligent leader -- someone both serious and compassionate, insightful, firm and realistic. He has "gravitas," that kind of seriousness that invites trust, yet he has learned to pay attention to the mood of those in front of him and manage that with an occasional joke or smile. Mostly he has a seriousness of purpose -- I sense that to him, law is a sacred calling, and a matter of law is worthy of any inconvenience. It wasn't a speech he gave or plaque on the wall, it was simply the way he conducted himself. In the face of this purpose-centered leadership, I found my excuses melting away -- I was drawn to his conviction and willing to do my part.

So in a way I was actually disappointed when I was excused (at least for awhile). I was also reminded by the power of emotions.

The judge asked us all some questions about the case at hand, and if we'd had any experiences that might color our judgment. I had an experience where I was the victim of a similar crime; it was almost 10 years ago and I thought I'd nearly forgotten it. Yet when questioned about the experience, I found myself reliving the feelings quite vividly - feeling powerless and scared, and feeling angry, even vengeful about it. In one little corner of my heart, I wanted to punish this defendant for the unpleasantness I'd experienced 10 years ago.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm just unusually susceptible to the influences of emotions. Maybe I dwell on emotions far too much for my own good. The pervasive message of, "emotions are weak" plays through my head and I question myself. Then I go read more research and decide that while it is true that emotions influence me strongly, it's also true of everyone else too.

Perhaps that's why leadership like Judge Atack's is so powerful. We are emotional beings, and emotionally intelligent leaders are mastering their emotions in a way that engages ours. When we teach people about emotionally intelligent leadership, we use the Six Seconds' model and encourage them to develop competency in three areas:

Know Yourself -- when leaders are self-aware, they become more "real," and they don't get "pushed around" by the unknown drivers that we all have. This makes them more trustworthy, and lets them make better decisions. Their self-awareness gives them a reference point for understanding others' emotions, which gives them important insight about people.

Choose Yourself -- when leaders manage themselves with the utmost integrity, they don't undermine their own messages. Again, this "walking the talk" creates trust. They attend to and manage their own emotions, neither suppressing nor wallowing in them, and they gain the energy and insight emotions offer. Managing their own emotions well, they have a powerful tool for influencing others' emotions.

Give Yourself -- when leaders connect with purpose and get their own ego out of the way, they are compelling. In Six Seconds' model, Give Yourself includes both Empathy and Noble Goals -- balancing compassion and conviction. When leaders do this, they are able to engage others in their vision -- which creates a deep level of commitment. Rather than pushing people into performance, these leaders draw other in. In addition, this people+purpose-driven leadership strengthens the leaders' and followers' resolve to know themselves and choose themselves -- it becomes a self-reinforcing cycle.

I was surprised and delighted to see this kind of leader in action in the local courthouse. Good leadership is infectious and inspiring, and it helps me consider my own leadership. Am I clear enough about my own "buttons and levers" that influence me? Have I learned to do what I mean to do? Do I have a compelling reason for that -- and do I enroll others in that purpose by truly recognizing them?

Have you seen a compelling leader in action this week? How did you feel with that person? What made her or him stand out? Is there some piece of that leadership that is inspiring you to dig deeper, reach higher?

For whom are you the role model? If some of your team members, colleagues, friends, or family were to read this, might they name you? How does that feel? What are you going to do about it?

Warmly yours,

Joshua Freedman is the Director of the Six Seconds' Institute for Healthcare Leadership, a nonprofit organization bringing 35 years of emotional intelligence expertise to improve leadership, enhance climate, and reduce turnover.